The Yeager Road Diaries: Can't a Man just get a cup of coffee?

There is a nigh-legendary story of the first time I walked into a Starbucks. I and Kasagi were on the road and he pulled in a Starbucks.

Now, this was when the place first opened in Atlanta and I had no clue what this place was. I get my coffee in cafes, greasy-spoons and choke-n-pukes (fast food joints).

When we walked in to the place I looked at the little buckhead betty and said: "I want a large Cup o' Joe."

Betty blinked at me.

Then I looked at the massive menu and said: "Do you have coffee?"

Betty's brain began to engage.

"Look, I'll take a Large Coffee."

Barbie said: "We have Tall, Grande, and Vente"

I said: "Since those words all mean the same thing I guess you'll have to show me your cups." She held up a Large cup, a 50-gallon drum and a demitasse cup.

I took the tall... sometimes a man just wants a Cup o' Joe.

Wellllll, today Judylamb posted Starbucks' Personality/Drink Order Oracle... and let me tell you, it confirmed everything I knew to be true:

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Either you can't type or you mumble incoherently. If you actually walked into Starbucks and said you wanted a "Large Cup o' Joe" the employees would point and laugh. A reaction you're probably used to. Try again, this time input something that Starbucks actually serves.

Starbuck don't serve coffee...