I have, in my life, had many teachers. My Papaw, my Dad, my Mom, even my Grandson. Wisdom came dropping from them like rain from the sky. There are times to learn and times to teach, times to gain wisdom and times to share it. If one does it well, it is a never ending cycle.
My Papaw taught me what it was to be a man. It is a lesson that I am still learning. There are time when I am selfish and petty, or worrisome and small, when he would not have been. If you know me at all, you know that every day I spend trying to live up to that example.
My Dad taught me to hunt and he taught me one lesson that has drifted up into my consciousness when I needed it most. My history with my Dad has not always been a good one, and there is one living human that I shared all of that with, just one. My Dad taught me how to track, how to sit in stillness for an ambush. It was a skill I used once and to my regret, there are no animals that walk on more than two legs that need fear me. It would have to be an act of desperation to use that talent. I am a good hunter, it's just been a long time. The ability to sit still for a long time -- to wait -- to be patient. It comes back to you when you are alone and remember what it is to be still. My Dad taught me another lesson, when my kids were taken from me by my ex-wife: "Now is not forever."
My Mamaw taught me how to love. She was born in early January, like Heather, and like her had a capacity to love that was greater than I have seen in all but a few. They are healers.
Sun-Tzu taught me how to fight a war when I was twelve years old. How to plan a battle, find an objective, weigh what you are willing to lose against what you are willing to gain. How to know the enemy and yourself. Sun-Tzu said many things that were memorable, the greatest was this: "If you know your enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the outcome of 1000 battles."
Musashi taught me how to fight before I ever threw a punch in anger.
Victor Hugo taught me what it was to sacrifice and what it was to stand for something when there was nothing left to stand for.
Yeats taught me what chaos comes from unrestrained power. What it was to lose control.
Whether it be a job, friendship, family, love or some lesser goal, these teachers taught me the path to achieving what seems unattainable and have placed their mark upon me, as have you, as mothers, wives, daughters, sons, husbands, men and women, with simple words of pain shared in public or private. Personal victories, a kind word, a thought, a set upon the journey.
In every action, there is a lesson, every moment of pain, there is weakness that is tempered into strength, and every time the fire calls you and I to dance again in the flame, there is a connection, a continuity, a forging of understanding.
In sniper school, they would set us to squatting on a chair and leave us to wait for that perfect moment, the one that must be seized or lost until the next perfect moment. My legs would cramp and ache, until I learned how to wait for that moment, flexing and training the muscles in my legs. Patience is not inaction, it is an act of will.
Burn with me.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Words from the past
Today I picked up my copy of The Book of Five Rings, when you feel like you are losing a handle on your life, it is good to listen to Musashi. The Kensai was very smart.
But in the front of the book, there was a note written by me, to me, from 11/2/1996.
"Never forget why you hold this book,
Never forget to whom you gave your first copy,
Never forget your pain and hurt,
Never forget that you were a fool,
We will never forget, we will never be that
foolish again, will never hurt like that again.
Never forget.
*kanji for disorder* Brian 11/2/96"
And, of course, I did, I was, I am.
But in the front of the book, there was a note written by me, to me, from 11/2/1996.
"Never forget why you hold this book,
Never forget to whom you gave your first copy,
Never forget your pain and hurt,
Never forget that you were a fool,
We will never forget, we will never be that
foolish again, will never hurt like that again.
Never forget.
*kanji for disorder* Brian 11/2/96"
And, of course, I did, I was, I am.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Existing
Today's entry for "365 days of Tao" was particularly applicable to me. I dreamed last night, in detail.
Fog makes the world a painting obscure.
Even close trees are half unseen.
But a lonesome crow won't stop calling:
He objects to being in this dream.
Over and over, the sages tell us that this world is but a dream.
When one awakes on foggy mornings, with the mists obscuring hills and valleys and the trees and village buildings appearing as diaphanous apparitions, we might even agree with them. Didn't we see this same uncertain mirage in the hills of Vermont? The hollow of the Yangtze River valley? The streets of Paris? Don't the memories blend with the dream and turn reality into phantasmagoria?
The world is a dream from which there is no escaping.
In this still dream, there is a crow calling. He doesn't stop. When everything else is frozen in the sepulchral dawn, the bird continues to scream. Maybe he realizes the same dream. He protests loudly.
The ancients hold the outer reality to be unreal. But there is the inner reality too. Some of us do not readily accept the conditions of this existence. We have eyes to see, but we also have voice to refute the existential delusion.
We have ears to hear, a mouth to speak, and eyes to observe. We can accept the dream or deny the illusions -- some we create, but some are created by others. Self-delusion is a crime against not just yourself, but those you would share your life with.
Even close trees are half unseen.
But a lonesome crow won't stop calling:
He objects to being in this dream.
Over and over, the sages tell us that this world is but a dream.
When one awakes on foggy mornings, with the mists obscuring hills and valleys and the trees and village buildings appearing as diaphanous apparitions, we might even agree with them. Didn't we see this same uncertain mirage in the hills of Vermont? The hollow of the Yangtze River valley? The streets of Paris? Don't the memories blend with the dream and turn reality into phantasmagoria?
The world is a dream from which there is no escaping.
In this still dream, there is a crow calling. He doesn't stop. When everything else is frozen in the sepulchral dawn, the bird continues to scream. Maybe he realizes the same dream. He protests loudly.
The ancients hold the outer reality to be unreal. But there is the inner reality too. Some of us do not readily accept the conditions of this existence. We have eyes to see, but we also have voice to refute the existential delusion.
We have ears to hear, a mouth to speak, and eyes to observe. We can accept the dream or deny the illusions -- some we create, but some are created by others. Self-delusion is a crime against not just yourself, but those you would share your life with.
Visitations
In the early morning, I had two visitors in my dreams.
The first was my second wife. We were in a house that I didn't recognize. We were sitting on the couch talking. It was a strangely familiar feeling. We sat very close to one another, we talked and I remember a lot of the conversation in detail. How, Shane (my former friend who she cheated with) had become her husband in her mind and her heart. I asked a lot of questions, but none of them were answered directly. I would wake up periodically, only to drive myself to plunge directly back into that dream.
The colors were vivid, there were a lot of cool blues and whites, emotionless colors, cold, like she was. It was all very painful to hear, but it was like someone closed a door. I wasn't as angry anymore. I always wanted some sort of answer, maybe this will be the closest to the truth I will ever get.
The second visitor was the Lady by the River. She was sad. She wanted to say something to me, it felt like she had done something that she was upset about, like she had done something to hurt me and didn't know what to say. I tried to talk to her about it, but she would laugh and smile and then begin to cry. It was frustrating and very sad. I tried to make myself wake up a couple of times (in direct opposition to the first visit), but I couldn't. So, I held her as long as she would let me.
I woke up wounded, feeling a bit like I had been betrayed, like a sacrifice, a Judas goat. All the sins were heaped on me -- I have shoulders broad enough, but I have enough sins of my own. I'm not carrying them for anyone else anymore.
Burn with me
The first was my second wife. We were in a house that I didn't recognize. We were sitting on the couch talking. It was a strangely familiar feeling. We sat very close to one another, we talked and I remember a lot of the conversation in detail. How, Shane (my former friend who she cheated with) had become her husband in her mind and her heart. I asked a lot of questions, but none of them were answered directly. I would wake up periodically, only to drive myself to plunge directly back into that dream.
The colors were vivid, there were a lot of cool blues and whites, emotionless colors, cold, like she was. It was all very painful to hear, but it was like someone closed a door. I wasn't as angry anymore. I always wanted some sort of answer, maybe this will be the closest to the truth I will ever get.
The second visitor was the Lady by the River. She was sad. She wanted to say something to me, it felt like she had done something that she was upset about, like she had done something to hurt me and didn't know what to say. I tried to talk to her about it, but she would laugh and smile and then begin to cry. It was frustrating and very sad. I tried to make myself wake up a couple of times (in direct opposition to the first visit), but I couldn't. So, I held her as long as she would let me.
I woke up wounded, feeling a bit like I had been betrayed, like a sacrifice, a Judas goat. All the sins were heaped on me -- I have shoulders broad enough, but I have enough sins of my own. I'm not carrying them for anyone else anymore.
Burn with me
Thursday, October 23, 2008
"We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves" -- Dalai Lama
How can you tell your life is out of balance? There is a harmony and a rhythm to the universe. A trip to the store and some strawberry ice-cream can solve everything for a moment. Losing your focus and losing your way start small, with a single bad choice that leads to the next and the next.
There is nothing self-pitying in that statement, there is not a hair of weakness, there is not an ounce of fear. If there is a hole in the ground, you fill it with dirt. If there is a hole in yourself, you fill it with you. No one else will fit.
The Prayer was: "Today, let me be invincible." Somewhere along the line I forgot that and fooled myself into thinking I was, on my own.
Now there is a very simple path, no slogans, no quips, no war cries. Be a good man, every day. Do right by everyone you meet. Be honest in everything you do. Help yourself and help others and let others help you. Do no harm.
Peace.
There is nothing self-pitying in that statement, there is not a hair of weakness, there is not an ounce of fear. If there is a hole in the ground, you fill it with dirt. If there is a hole in yourself, you fill it with you. No one else will fit.
The Prayer was: "Today, let me be invincible." Somewhere along the line I forgot that and fooled myself into thinking I was, on my own.
Now there is a very simple path, no slogans, no quips, no war cries. Be a good man, every day. Do right by everyone you meet. Be honest in everything you do. Help yourself and help others and let others help you. Do no harm.
Peace.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Even the fire dies
This is what it feels like when the fire burns low, when you're on edge and even your skin hurts. You want to burn, but the fire is a flicker. It's not dead, that, hopefully, won;t be for a while yet.
Life gives you ups and downs, highs that are so high that nothing will ever feel that good, until the next time, lows that are so low that nothing will feel that bad, until the next time.
Life is what it is, it is bitter and it is sweet and the taste is what it is, you sip, bit, taste and guzzle, but it's all the same life.
Burn with me
Life gives you ups and downs, highs that are so high that nothing will ever feel that good, until the next time, lows that are so low that nothing will feel that bad, until the next time.
Life is what it is, it is bitter and it is sweet and the taste is what it is, you sip, bit, taste and guzzle, but it's all the same life.
Burn with me
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Home is where the heart is
There is a road that leads home, the only home I have ever wanted -- it's a long road. What kind of fool would walk forever just to go home?
You'd have to see what I see at the end of the road.
Life made me Invincible.
The Universe made me Unstoppable.
But the Lady by the River makes me Inevitable.
43 years of fighting the world. Would I change one thing? No.
Burn with me.
You'd have to see what I see at the end of the road.
Life made me Invincible.
The Universe made me Unstoppable.
But the Lady by the River makes me Inevitable.
43 years of fighting the world. Would I change one thing? No.
Burn with me.
Friday, October 17, 2008
What would Pooh do?
He would buy the ice-cream, drive over and be where he was supposed to be at exactly the right time and in exactly the right place.
And I did.
If you laugh at miracle and moments of perfect synchronicity, remember that they are laughing back.
And I did.
If you laugh at miracle and moments of perfect synchronicity, remember that they are laughing back.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Because of Ice-Cream
Thanks to a conversation about ice-cream, I went searching for a post today. You see, today was a very good day. Work was light, I was on fire, I smiled and I laughed and I realized that I do deserve the good things in my life. I have come to the light-side. Somewhere, the Lady by the River is smiling.
So, because of the continuity and synchronicity of life, this good day led me to the following post from May 15th, 2006. It was just after my birthday, I had yet to buy my house and my youngest daughter had not moved it. My marriage was rocky and I was doing whatever I could to save it. It is only slightly modified to put things into context.
Journey into Mystery
The title of this post comes from a popular comic book in the 1960's. Journey in to Mystery was where the Superhero Thor first appeared (and eventually took over the book). The funny thing about the book after Thor took over the title was that it was not very mysterious anymore. I guess that is why they changed the title to "The Mighty Thor".
End of comic book references.
May of 2006, I was trying to save my marriage and my sanity (failed with the first, succeeded with the second) I had my own journey into mystery. I was sick and unfortunately stayed home from work. I spent most of the day and the next day piled up in my bed. I spent two days digesting the "Tao of Pooh".
I know that the enlightenment is a very personal thing. As Lex Luthor said: 'Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.' I have some friends that have read this book and come away with a sense of enjoyment and a spiritual boost. I, on the other hand, have found my teacher... Pooh Bear.
I won't go into details. I'm no preacher and I don't mean to suggest that my understanding is anyone else's understanding, but I have learned some things that have had a profound affect on my life.
There are some ideas in the world that have been communicated to me by my mother, preachers, friends and small children. I had, in my prior resistance to accepting different truths, ignored these things. The thing I am learning is simple: everything happens in its own time and to its own purpose, control is an illusion and (from Master Pooh) every day is a beautiful adventure in living.
I know that all sounds very huggy-feely and squishy... It is. It is precisely all the I'm-ok-you're-ok, huggy-feely, warm-and-fuzzy 'non-sense' I have rejected all my life... but it is verifiable true. There is a heartbeat to nature and a rhythm to life, if you move with that rhythm and stop struggling against it, you will find life much easier and that you will be where you are suppose to be when you are suppose to be there.
Lao Tzu often taught with stories. I have a story for you.
When I was 6 years old and my mother and I lived alone, there was a day when my mom stopped and bought me a strawberry ice cream. I loved strawberry it was my favorite flavor. On the way home my mom ran out of gas (I had no idea how poor we were at the time) and we had to walk to the gas station. On the way my ice cream melted and I remember being sick with worry. I never ate strawberry ice cream again. For 35 years, I ate vanilla.
May 14th of 2006, I fixed dinner for my (then) wife and son. Then we sat down to watch "Dr. Who". I sat down with them and grabbed the last piece of my birthday cake. I asked my wife if she would like some cake. She told me no, but did we have any ice cream? I smiled, thought of Pooh and said "No, but let us go get some."
The three of us went to the 31 Flavors (known in other parts of the country as Baskin-Robbin's). When we entered, we saw that the place was crowded. Prior to then, I would have turned around and left, become frustrated or gone through the drive-through. Instead, I enjoyed the interlude, spoke to other patrons and decided what ice cream I wanted. Thanks to my son's eagle eye, I saw that there was Very-Berry Strawberry and Strawberry Cheesecake. I got a two scoop sundae (patience, there is a point to all of this). I wondered what I would put on a sundae of mainly strawberry (as I didn't think that hot fudge would be good), I relinquished control and didn't even rush to decided. The old, smiling man behind the counter suggested strawberry sauce. He prepared my sundae and put a lid on it (I didn't ask for one) and we drove home.
When we got home, my downstairs neighbor (whom I had never spoken to) came up to us begging us to help her jump off her dead battery. She offered money, etc. I told her not to worry about it, drove over, and jumped off her car so she could get to work.
My ex-wife held my ice cream.
If I had decided NOT to be spontaneous, I would have missed so many things that night: the joy of rediscovering strawberry ice cream, watching my family truly relax with me and the opportunity to help someone. If I had been in a rush, my neighbor would have been late or not gotten to work at all, (as I am sure, she would never have come to knock on our door for help). If I had maintained my illusion of control, my ice cream would have melted to sludge under the hot fudge.
When we walked up stairs my son looked at me in wonder and said: "This thing is really working for you."
He's always been a clever boy.
Everything has its timing and its place. Since then, I have seen this amazing thing over-and-over. The Rhythm of life is so real to me and when you move in harmony with it you are never late and never early. You are where you are supposed to be all the time.
Burn with me
So, because of the continuity and synchronicity of life, this good day led me to the following post from May 15th, 2006. It was just after my birthday, I had yet to buy my house and my youngest daughter had not moved it. My marriage was rocky and I was doing whatever I could to save it. It is only slightly modified to put things into context.
Journey into Mystery
The title of this post comes from a popular comic book in the 1960's. Journey in to Mystery was where the Superhero Thor first appeared (and eventually took over the book). The funny thing about the book after Thor took over the title was that it was not very mysterious anymore. I guess that is why they changed the title to "The Mighty Thor".
End of comic book references.
May of 2006, I was trying to save my marriage and my sanity (failed with the first, succeeded with the second) I had my own journey into mystery. I was sick and unfortunately stayed home from work. I spent most of the day and the next day piled up in my bed. I spent two days digesting the "Tao of Pooh".
I know that the enlightenment is a very personal thing. As Lex Luthor said: 'Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe.' I have some friends that have read this book and come away with a sense of enjoyment and a spiritual boost. I, on the other hand, have found my teacher... Pooh Bear.
I won't go into details. I'm no preacher and I don't mean to suggest that my understanding is anyone else's understanding, but I have learned some things that have had a profound affect on my life.
There are some ideas in the world that have been communicated to me by my mother, preachers, friends and small children. I had, in my prior resistance to accepting different truths, ignored these things. The thing I am learning is simple: everything happens in its own time and to its own purpose, control is an illusion and (from Master Pooh) every day is a beautiful adventure in living.
I know that all sounds very huggy-feely and squishy... It is. It is precisely all the I'm-ok-you're-ok, huggy-feely, warm-and-fuzzy 'non-sense' I have rejected all my life... but it is verifiable true. There is a heartbeat to nature and a rhythm to life, if you move with that rhythm and stop struggling against it, you will find life much easier and that you will be where you are suppose to be when you are suppose to be there.
Lao Tzu often taught with stories. I have a story for you.
When I was 6 years old and my mother and I lived alone, there was a day when my mom stopped and bought me a strawberry ice cream. I loved strawberry it was my favorite flavor. On the way home my mom ran out of gas (I had no idea how poor we were at the time) and we had to walk to the gas station. On the way my ice cream melted and I remember being sick with worry. I never ate strawberry ice cream again. For 35 years, I ate vanilla.
May 14th of 2006, I fixed dinner for my (then) wife and son. Then we sat down to watch "Dr. Who". I sat down with them and grabbed the last piece of my birthday cake. I asked my wife if she would like some cake. She told me no, but did we have any ice cream? I smiled, thought of Pooh and said "No, but let us go get some."
The three of us went to the 31 Flavors (known in other parts of the country as Baskin-Robbin's). When we entered, we saw that the place was crowded. Prior to then, I would have turned around and left, become frustrated or gone through the drive-through. Instead, I enjoyed the interlude, spoke to other patrons and decided what ice cream I wanted. Thanks to my son's eagle eye, I saw that there was Very-Berry Strawberry and Strawberry Cheesecake. I got a two scoop sundae (patience, there is a point to all of this). I wondered what I would put on a sundae of mainly strawberry (as I didn't think that hot fudge would be good), I relinquished control and didn't even rush to decided. The old, smiling man behind the counter suggested strawberry sauce. He prepared my sundae and put a lid on it (I didn't ask for one) and we drove home.
When we got home, my downstairs neighbor (whom I had never spoken to) came up to us begging us to help her jump off her dead battery. She offered money, etc. I told her not to worry about it, drove over, and jumped off her car so she could get to work.
My ex-wife held my ice cream.
If I had decided NOT to be spontaneous, I would have missed so many things that night: the joy of rediscovering strawberry ice cream, watching my family truly relax with me and the opportunity to help someone. If I had been in a rush, my neighbor would have been late or not gotten to work at all, (as I am sure, she would never have come to knock on our door for help). If I had maintained my illusion of control, my ice cream would have melted to sludge under the hot fudge.
When we walked up stairs my son looked at me in wonder and said: "This thing is really working for you."
He's always been a clever boy.
Everything has its timing and its place. Since then, I have seen this amazing thing over-and-over. The Rhythm of life is so real to me and when you move in harmony with it you are never late and never early. You are where you are supposed to be all the time.
Burn with me
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
“Never fear shadows. They simply mean there is a light shining somewhere nearby.”
Today I was asked if the need, the ache, and the desire to touch and be touched was a weakness. The argument being that any passion, any ache or need was a hook and a lever. How, could I have such passions, such aches and, such needs and still call myself invincible.
Fair question.
I answered the way I always do:
There is a song by Garth Brooks "Standing outside the fire," it has a line that reminds me that if burning for what you deserve to have is a weakness, then I'll take that and wear it like a badge.
"We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They're so hell-bent on giving ,walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire"
To surrender to the fire is not a weakness and there is nothing we cannot attain, only things we won't fight for. Is there not one thing in your life worth losing everything for?
Today could have been very rough, it was in a lot of ways. For years I have been fighting a fight where I don't get to sit down, I don't get a time-out, and I have no partner to let me rest. I knew today, when I went to look at that journal entry from two years ago, exactly what it would say. October 15th is burned into my mind. Two ex-wives and an ex-girlfriend popped up. Finally, I was feeling like an asshole because I was too oversensitive about something.
People can be confusing sometimes, it's no sin, we all do it. Even as empathic and with my ability to read people, I miss things, and surely that is no fault of mine. I am my harshest critic and, frankly, it's insulting to expect the worst from people. Just because other people in your life took the short exit doesn't mean that everyone else will. Sometimes you pick people to share your life who are good people.
There are no shadows without the light and the longer the shadow, the brighter the light. There is no light without fire. I am blessed by the lights that burn with me.
Celebrate the light and the fire.
Curse the darkness and light a flamethrower.
Burn with me.
Fair question.
I answered the way I always do:
There is a song by Garth Brooks "Standing outside the fire," it has a line that reminds me that if burning for what you deserve to have is a weakness, then I'll take that and wear it like a badge.
"We call them weak
Who are unable to resist
The slightest chance love might exist
And for that forsake it all
They're so hell-bent on giving ,walking a wire
Convinced it's not living if you stand outside the fire"
To surrender to the fire is not a weakness and there is nothing we cannot attain, only things we won't fight for. Is there not one thing in your life worth losing everything for?
Today could have been very rough, it was in a lot of ways. For years I have been fighting a fight where I don't get to sit down, I don't get a time-out, and I have no partner to let me rest. I knew today, when I went to look at that journal entry from two years ago, exactly what it would say. October 15th is burned into my mind. Two ex-wives and an ex-girlfriend popped up. Finally, I was feeling like an asshole because I was too oversensitive about something.
People can be confusing sometimes, it's no sin, we all do it. Even as empathic and with my ability to read people, I miss things, and surely that is no fault of mine. I am my harshest critic and, frankly, it's insulting to expect the worst from people. Just because other people in your life took the short exit doesn't mean that everyone else will. Sometimes you pick people to share your life who are good people.
There are no shadows without the light and the longer the shadow, the brighter the light. There is no light without fire. I am blessed by the lights that burn with me.
Celebrate the light and the fire.
Curse the darkness and light a flamethrower.
Burn with me.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
You tell'em Wally
It is a well known fact that I find truth in the most bizarre places, act on moments of perfection, and find happiness in simple things. I am harder on myself than I need to be. I am my own worst critic.
I am learning.
I am learning to say: "I don't deserve your friendship -- much." I am learning to care about things that impact people's lives again. I am learning to care if a football team is winning. I am learning what it is to be human again. I am learning what it was that made Roy get up every day and fight the world for his grandson. I am learning to talk to God. For these things I am eternally grateful. We grow through giving, doing what is right, justice, truth, honor, and trying not to sound too pretentious while doing so (and failing miserably).
Today's simple truth comes from "Justice League" (2001)(Season 4, Episode 12) . In the story, the charter members of the Justice League fight an amalgam of Braniac and Lex Luthor, during the battle, they face "Justice Lord" versions of themselves, counterparts that attack their self of sense worth. There is a "Lorder" Eason in here somewhere, he doesn't think I'm worthy of the happiness I fight for, the life I live.
This quote is for him:
Lorder Flash: Slacker! Child! Clown! We have no place here among the world's greatest heroes.
The Flash: Says you! I got a seat at the big conference table. I'm gonna paint my logo on it!
I am an agent of change, I enter your life and nothing will ever be the same. I hope, profoundly, that when my life is done, that those changed by my presence will smile and laugh and remember only the things I did to make their lives better, and that my legacy will be one born of the good that I did. I am an agent of change, aren't we all?
Gonna go paint my logo on the big chair, now.
Peace.
I am learning.
I am learning to say: "I don't deserve your friendship -- much." I am learning to care about things that impact people's lives again. I am learning to care if a football team is winning. I am learning what it is to be human again. I am learning what it was that made Roy get up every day and fight the world for his grandson. I am learning to talk to God. For these things I am eternally grateful. We grow through giving, doing what is right, justice, truth, honor, and trying not to sound too pretentious while doing so (and failing miserably).
Today's simple truth comes from "Justice League" (2001)(Season 4, Episode 12) . In the story, the charter members of the Justice League fight an amalgam of Braniac and Lex Luthor, during the battle, they face "Justice Lord" versions of themselves, counterparts that attack their self of sense worth. There is a "Lorder" Eason in here somewhere, he doesn't think I'm worthy of the happiness I fight for, the life I live.
This quote is for him:
Lorder Flash: Slacker! Child! Clown! We have no place here among the world's greatest heroes.
The Flash: Says you! I got a seat at the big conference table. I'm gonna paint my logo on it!
I am an agent of change, I enter your life and nothing will ever be the same. I hope, profoundly, that when my life is done, that those changed by my presence will smile and laugh and remember only the things I did to make their lives better, and that my legacy will be one born of the good that I did. I am an agent of change, aren't we all?
Gonna go paint my logo on the big chair, now.
Peace.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
The Singular Truth
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! -- how consoling in the depths of affliction! "And this, too, shall pass away." - Abraham Lincoln (September 30, 1859)
There is one truth is the hour of longing, in the hour of pride, in the hour of sadness, in the hour of joy: that our corruptible bodies and our immortal spirits shall see an hour when all things come to an end. An end to waiting and an end to sadness, an end to happiness and an fulfillment. In the end there is only man and the answer to the ineffable question of "why are we here?"
Seize instead the moment of joy, learn instead from the moment of loss, and choose instead to wait for that moment of perfection to which we all are heir.
One perfect moment. The scent, the touch, the taste that lingers for 1000 lifetimes and calls us all back to that perfect moment, living in hope for the next moment of perfection that we share.
Some dreams are made reality by the passage of perfect moments and some battles we win in the heart, waiting for the moment when the terrain has changed and the singular prize for which we have waited a lifetime, comes into focus. Such a prize is all that a man could desire and all he should ever hope for, for to do less makes him not a man at all. Boldness is what becomes a man, hope and love are what enlarges his soul.
Is there not one thing in your life that was losing everything for?
Burn with me.
There is one truth is the hour of longing, in the hour of pride, in the hour of sadness, in the hour of joy: that our corruptible bodies and our immortal spirits shall see an hour when all things come to an end. An end to waiting and an end to sadness, an end to happiness and an fulfillment. In the end there is only man and the answer to the ineffable question of "why are we here?"
Seize instead the moment of joy, learn instead from the moment of loss, and choose instead to wait for that moment of perfection to which we all are heir.
One perfect moment. The scent, the touch, the taste that lingers for 1000 lifetimes and calls us all back to that perfect moment, living in hope for the next moment of perfection that we share.
Some dreams are made reality by the passage of perfect moments and some battles we win in the heart, waiting for the moment when the terrain has changed and the singular prize for which we have waited a lifetime, comes into focus. Such a prize is all that a man could desire and all he should ever hope for, for to do less makes him not a man at all. Boldness is what becomes a man, hope and love are what enlarges his soul.
Is there not one thing in your life that was losing everything for?
Burn with me.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Lady by the River
When I was 19 years old I had a dream. It was the most vivid dream of my life. It was in color, the sounds were in dolby surround-sound, the smells were as real as anything I have ever experienced.
There was a lady by a river. Her hair was auburn and her eyes were hazel. She talked to me about all the things she was and all the things she ever will be. The dream seemed to last forever. I fell deeply in love with her and then I woke up.
The dream was so real to me that it hurt when I woke up and she wasn't there. It was a physical and emotional ache and it hung on for days. Weeks and months went by and I had the dream again, we talked about different things, she held my hand and when i awoke, she was more real to me than my life.
I did what I always did in those days, I talked to Burt. I looked at Burt and said: "Have you ever had a dream that was more real than what you have in your life?'
Mood smiled at me and said: "Nah, Dude, but you did."
I nodded to him and told him about the lady by the river. I told him about the recurring dream and how different it was. Burt's people were, as we said in those days, witchy. The would talk to a burn on your arm and the swelling would go down. They could talk to horses and snakes. They believed in a kind of kismet and hedge-magic that was beyond my understanding. I asked Mood what I should do. He smiled at me and said: "Reckon you need to go find that lady by the river."
And I have looked for her every day of my life, the Lady by the River. The dreams continue to this day, they are the same and crystal clear. She has been the Heroine of every story I have written, the source of every dream I have recorded. She is the image of perfection writ large upon my life.
Some men say they are looking for the woman of their dreams, in my case, it is literally true.
Burn with me
There was a lady by a river. Her hair was auburn and her eyes were hazel. She talked to me about all the things she was and all the things she ever will be. The dream seemed to last forever. I fell deeply in love with her and then I woke up.
The dream was so real to me that it hurt when I woke up and she wasn't there. It was a physical and emotional ache and it hung on for days. Weeks and months went by and I had the dream again, we talked about different things, she held my hand and when i awoke, she was more real to me than my life.
I did what I always did in those days, I talked to Burt. I looked at Burt and said: "Have you ever had a dream that was more real than what you have in your life?'
Mood smiled at me and said: "Nah, Dude, but you did."
I nodded to him and told him about the lady by the river. I told him about the recurring dream and how different it was. Burt's people were, as we said in those days, witchy. The would talk to a burn on your arm and the swelling would go down. They could talk to horses and snakes. They believed in a kind of kismet and hedge-magic that was beyond my understanding. I asked Mood what I should do. He smiled at me and said: "Reckon you need to go find that lady by the river."
And I have looked for her every day of my life, the Lady by the River. The dreams continue to this day, they are the same and crystal clear. She has been the Heroine of every story I have written, the source of every dream I have recorded. She is the image of perfection writ large upon my life.
Some men say they are looking for the woman of their dreams, in my case, it is literally true.
Burn with me
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