The Magician and the Fool

Flip through the tarot deck and flip over a card. The Magician, that's me.

Traveling on his way, the Fool first encounters a Magician. Skillful, self-confident, a powerful magus with the infinite as a halo floating above his head, the Magician mesmerizes the Fool. When asked, the Fool gives over his bundled pack and stick to the Magician. Raising his wand to heaven, pointing his finger to Earth, the Magician calls on all powers; magically, the cloth of the pack unfolds upon the table, revealing its contents. And to the Fool's eyes it is as if the Magician has created the future with a word. All the possibilities are laid out, all the directions he can take. The cool, airy Sword of intellect and communication, the fiery Wand of spirituality and ambition, the overflowing Chalice of Love and emotions, the solid Pentacle of work, possessions and body. With these tools, the Fool can create anything, make anything of his life. But here's the question, did the Magician create the tools, or were they already in the pack? Only the Magician knows - and on this mystery, our eloquent mage refuses to say a word.

Standing at the crossroad, unwrapping the traveler's pack, showing them the road and the tools they have. I spoke with someone today, looked through all their layers into their souls and listened. A kindred spirit with a guarded heart.

It's unsettling sometimes, talking to people and seeing things. Some come closer and show it all, others run and hide because they fear for someone to see. We all guard our hearts to one degree or another, I know I do, while I ache to have it taken and risk the bittersweet heartbreak.

It's to feel, to burn.

Burn with me.

Our Cancer Year - Followup

The report came back from the doctor. It's not cancer and it's not AIDS. Apparently the issue looked enough like an auto-immune problem that they checked. Where do we go from here? Another specialist to see if it's an infectious disease.

When you put it that way, it's still a scary proposition, but it's not cancer. Heather told me and I started to cry. Relief flooded into me and I just let go. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath.

Today is a good day, because it's not cancer. Today is a good day because we have hope and the future and so long as we have those, we are invincible.